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What can you do if you are a full-grown adult, but never experienced being a child?

13.06.2025 05:18

What can you do if you are a full-grown adult, but never experienced being a child?

It is CRUCIAL that you FIND THAT EMBER of stubbornness, determination, tenacity that STILL BURNS INSIDE OF YOU.

The important thing is to TALK to your Inner Child about old memories that you're trying to EVOKE so that you can RECONNECT with that Lost Part of Yourself.

Because YOU are going to be the person who steps in, RESCUES your Inner Child, and learns how to NURTURE and LOVE YOURSELF better from now on— as you PRIORITIZE your dreams, your goals and your needs while you create the future that you really want to live in.

Why do Trumpers and MAGA Republicans care who is trans and who is gay ECT? If they didn't have a personal interest in transgenderism it shouldn't matter so much then, right?

Devious people are ALWAYS scheming to DESTROY people's JOY and take it away from them somehow. (That's where the word KILLJOY comes from.)

Try to conceptualize your Younger Self as an Imaginary Friend. Many children imagine that they have Imaginary Friends that nobody else can see.

Start COLLECTING whatever it is that you coveted as a child— but your parents wouldn't let you have.

How many wishes do people get on their birthday?

My imagination comes out when I write fiction stories.

Or, they told you to quit enjoying your imagination in some way.

Most of the time it does not turn out differently. You're suffering the same kind of misery— only with a different person.

What is your opinion about homosexuality? Do you think that it is by nature or a choice?

Buy DVDs of favorite programs/movies from your childhood. You will ENJOY watching it just as much NOW as you did THEN. You're older now, so you're going to see stuff in that program that you didn't notice back then. And you might realize that some of the characters you liked in those programs actually helped you figure things out as you were growing and evolving as a human being. That's always a very FUN realization!

Start by NOT listening to any harsh, critical, denigrating voices that you hear in your head when you start trying to reconnect with your childhood self. Those harsh voices are actually ECHOES of things someone in your past (like your parents, teacher, or relatives, or mentors) told you to: “Quit acting like a child.”

Argue with ANY churlish voices or people that are trying to STIFLE your creativity, your joy, and your individuality!

Hello,hope y'all doin good, i came to Quora to share my strange story , a very weird one , a story when luck smiled at me ,maybe u will enjoy it , let's begin,have fun... A year ago ,I was a real porn addicted(btw I was 18) ,but never had sex before, I don't have a gf I didn't try to find one even ,always thinking to go to find a sex worker but then I just don't , everyday watching different bodies getting fucked and everyday enjoying. One day, I was watching porn, a big ass lady with big boobs ,just after seeing her the image of my female cousin poped in my mind, (let's introduce her : she's 35 years old , very big ass , nice boobs ,not very big but nice,always wearing tight clothes , she's divorced ) and I thought of me fucking her ,I never had sexual desires for her but now I do days went by and when I met her I was so horny ,I couldn't stay with the family cz my penis was clearly erected , I realized this is my first time I get horny for one of my family ,it not illegal in my country.well to make a long story short( if u want details just text me I will tell u 😊),I decided to give her signs that I want to fuck her,finally I decided to have sex and with my cousin , I thought it is the best beggining for me, i started touching her when I came across her in a narrow place , make her feel my hard cock when we hug , I thought it will hard and I will be ashamed but no , I felt nothing and she said nothing , probably she thought it was by mistake,anyways, I decided then to talk with her about sex, waited for her to be alone in a room and talk with her, I confessed everything about me watching porn and addicted..etc,she said it's normal and u are growing up and u must have sex,well at that time I was like whaaat????? Well I didn't control myself and asked her for sex ( horny like I Ve never been before) she said that she will think Abt it ,2 weeka went by then she called me ,telling that she reserved a room in a hotel and we meet tonight ,we met,and bruuhh, sex is great , I mean, I had to find a pirstitue ,what I was waiting for to have such a feeling ????, I will never forget that night, I started kissing her she was kissing hard ,she misses sex so bad , she sucked my dick and swallowed my semen ,I felt I'm in a dream , then when fucked ,her ass was very big and the anus was open ,didn't struggle to get my hard cock inside it , she was obviously missing sex , she was shouting ,fuck me yh fuck me , I go fast after every word until I cum , we did that 3 times , then we went to her pussy , using condoms I fucked her so hard the moans were higher , everything was perfect ,in the end I asked her to lick her body , licked pussy ,ass, boobs,then she sucked my cock until we sleeped ,all I know that she was dirty ,well before even having sex with her I knew she is an open minded woman , and a woman that looks that she donesnt know anything , but she knows everything, but never expected having sex with her ,well she was horny and that helped...but no one of us regretted that sex ever.. We still have sex from time to time ,and I started having sex with sex workers , joining threesomes..etc If u want pics of her text me.

Give to that part of yourself all of the LOVE, ATTENTION, AFFECTION, VALIDATION, APPROVAL, CARING and CONCERN that you DID NOT GET from your parents, your siblings, your teachers, your coaches, and other adults who DISAPPOINTED you and DISILLUSIONED you throughout your life.

You can also think about becoming a mentor to children as a way to experience the CONTAGIOUS JOY that little children feel when they're having FUN doing stuff they LIKE to do.

We were never allowed to wear sneakers or tennis shoes—unless we were in gym class at school, or playing sports on a team.

Do happily married husbands cheat?

You do NOT have to feel DEPRIVED or DENIED any longer.

You've internalized their CONDEMNATION and their RIDICULE and now you are MISTAKING that iInner Critic’s voice as your own voice.

PLEASE start reconnecting with your younger self (at an age when you didn't have so much to worry about or dread.) If you can become Best Friends with your Inner Child, you may figure out ways to cope with the challenges of your adult life in ways that are more helpful to you now.

Hi everybody! I have been looking at posts on narcs and narc abuse on here and if has really helped me out a lot. I am currently struggling with my situation and need some advice/support. I met a narc last year, everything seemed to good to be true. Love bombing, always texting calling and taking me on dates. Everything changed when someone warned me about him out in public in front of him and who he is. This caused a conflict with us and the love bombing seized. he would tell me that everything is okay and i can come and talk. He would set a time limit on me and kick me out after that. he would then text me like everything was fine and we hung out again and after that he completely ghosted me for one week. He came back and texted me a week later laughing about the ghosting and acting like nothing had happened. he continued to text me ( not like in the beginning) make plans with me, then on the day of the plans he would just ghost me. One day he would act interested the next silence. i contacted him a month later and he acted like nothing happened. He was on a vacation and sent me a picture of another woman ( someone he allegedly met on the trip) to strike a reaction but i never gave him one. After the trip he came to my place and was extremely rude, accusing me of going on dates with a bunch of men. The next day he accused me of being an alcoholic and that he wanted nothing to do with me but said well maybe we can be "friends" then ghosted me i assumed at this point it was over and i would never hear from him again. He contacted me on the holiday a month later acting like everything was great. We ended up hanging out a month or so later and when we hung out it went well, i thought things were going in the right direction. after we hung out.. silence. I would try to text him and if he replied it would be very short then he just stopped replying. He ghosted me for almost three months. I thought he was done this time and of course he popped up again like nothing happened. At this point i was getting sick of if so i questioned him as to why he dissapeared and always does this. Of course he had some sob story about a injury and family member dying of cancer. I felt pity for him and he gave me an apology.. so i took him back stupidly. things seemed to be going smooth for a couple months, of course until his family member died and his injury got better he never contacted me and was distant. Menawhile, i was there for him during the difficult time for him. He lied to me about the funeral and never wanted to chat. I was chasing him and he would always claim nothing was wrong but when i said i thought he used me when he was down he could not handle it and would always tell me he didnt care and to go away. I would get so upset i would try texting him to work it out he would barelt respond and if he did he would not be nice about it. we did hang out a couple times after that, he would ignore me after. One day i was like hey i think you are seeing someone else, and i was like well ixam seeing someone so no problem if you are he said " buy bye good luck with your new guy stop contacting me" i was devastated and tried to get into contact with him for weeks then i just gave up and accepted it was over. He ended up contacting me a month later acting like everything was fine. He wanted to go out and have drinks i told him i would. He and i both seemed to have a great time. He ends up ignoring me again. I kept texting him trying to figure out what was wrong. He kept saying everything was fine and i said ok can we hang out again? He said maybe i was like why? He just kept saying maybe … our last conversation we had… i said what is wrong ? He said nothing is wrong everything is fine. I asked him why he keeps saying maybe. He said " maybe but i dont want to see you right now" i said why? He saix " im just not feeling it, if i wanted to date i would" i said why did you contact me less then a week ago wanting to go out? He said i didnt.. even though he did. So i said should i just move on or what? He said whatever you want to do. So i said that he was really confusing me and asked him if he had anything more to say before i move on? My messages were turning green so i panicked he blocked me and reacted irrationally. I said " omg did you block me? My messages are not going through. Even texted him on my work phone asking what was up. And called him twice ( please dont judge me i know it is pathetic i never was this type of girl before him) so he replied and said " Ok I'll block you now" then immedietly blocked me. He has never blocked me before since I have met him he will just ghost. Is this ths final discard aka " grand finale? Did i just push him too far? this has upset me so much its hard to even function.

I've always been insatiably curious. I need to be learning new things all the time. I have a very restless intellect that needs constant stimulation. Boredom has always been something I CANNOT tolerate for even a brief time.

Whatever helps you connect to your Inner Child is something that you should nurture.

I didn't like the idea of using ANY part of my own name. (Because my parents gave me that name— and I don't happen to like it.)

Why can't ugly women date hot guys? I know a woman who wants a hot BF but people would just laugh at her and ask her "what can you bring to the table for him?", isn't that messed up?

Reading articles about self love, self compassion, self-validation, self-approval (and anything that starts with the word “self” in the title) has helped me learn how to treat myself with more kindness.

You need to NURTURE that FLICKERING EMBER and make sure that you PROTECT IT, DEFEND IT, and DO EVERYTHING POSSIBLE TO MAKE IT GROW so that it can become a FIRE WITHIN YOU again—to give you motivation to create the type of future you really do want to live in.

That's just a way to lock yourself into a LIFELONG PRISON of OBLIGATIONS and DISAPPOINTMENTS.

Which is the most liked web series in India?

Thrn, as adults, we get into this horrible DOWNWARD SPIRAL of misery that leads to the Depths of Despair, and nothing but REGRETS.

You still remember yourself at various ages. You remember how you felt, what you did, what you hoped for, what your dreams for the future were.

You HAVE to realize: when we are children, we are young, vulnerable, and impressionable. Little children don't know enough about life yet. So they rely on the adults in their life (or older children in their life) to teach them the things that they need to know and learn— so they can survive.

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I advocate taking refuge in ANYTHING that can help you cope with the struggles in your life in ways that feel HELPFUL and NURTURING to YOU.

If your parents are as cruel as mine were, they'll throw away your toys when you're at school and you don't get to have those toys anymore. They will throw away ANYTHING that you CHERISH. Even if it's something like collecting little rocks.

If your parents were cruel like mine, and never let you collect things about celebrities, performers, or sports figures that you admired— then start doing that for yourself immediately!

Do you have any problem dating a younger man?

Too many people BLINDLY BELIEVE they HAVE TO DO what they are told to do— by adults who are the authority figures in their life.

If we are all truly HONEST WITH OURSELVES, those same things are still very CONFUSING and SCARY to us as adults too!

WHY???

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Keeping a journal about your memories, which may help you connect with your Childhood Self so that you can MERGE it with your Current Self as an adult.

As you watch or collect things from your past, it will allow you to reconnect with the person you were THEN—which is part of the person that you have been becoming all of your life.

Children don't get self-conscious or embarrassed by anything that they say or do when they're playing—UNTIL a child—or an adult—says something mean and cruel to insult them and make them feel bad, wrong, or stupid.

What was your best revenge story?

The ECHOES you are going to hear arecthe voices of people you know who have saidINSULTING g and ABUSIVE things to you throughout your life.

I also have dozens of allergies, so being outside is never a fun situation for me.

I also wear very bright, colorful clothes and any kind of patterns that I think are FUN or outrageous.

If you received hand-me-downs as a child, how did they make you feel?

Children also imagined that their toys understand what they are saying to them when we played with them.

You remember the stuff that you liked. And you remember the stuff that scared you.

It doesn't matter WHAT it is that you WANT TO ENJOY. You have to GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION to ENJOY it.

Gun owners, imagine if an attacker comes to your home and takes your gun to use against you before you had the chance to pick it up. Would you regret owning a gun?

Even if you are just feeling WISTFUL for the simpler, bygone days of childhood—you still need to do that Inner Child Work and reconnect with that Lost Part of Yourself.

Make sure you stop and listen for the ECHOES when that Harsh Inner Critic starts yelling at you or insulting you.

Even though I live alone, it made me feel embarrassed to talk to my Inner Child. But I've gotten used to doing that. Sometimes I will call my Inner Child by the name I gave her and say, “We're going out for ice cream.”

Don't get yourself into debt doing this But if you always wanted a certain type of bicycle or something that you know is AFFORDABLE on your budget right now— then treat yourself to this.

It is important for you to reconnect with your Inner Child and GIVE YOURSELF the things that you always needed during your childhood— that you STILL NEED NOW. Because you feel empty, forlorn, adrift, and discontent WITHOUT those things in your life.

That'sWHY y it's even more necessary at such times of Despair to reconnect with the YOU THAT YOU USED TO BE when you still had hope for your future.

If you've ever seen drawings of Winnie the Pooh holding Piglet's hand as they're walking along— try to imagine your Inner Child as being small like Piglet and you are the kind, compassionate, gentle, loving friend who's taller than Piglet. Imagine yourself as Winnie the Pooh as you're going somewhere in the world while you are reconnecting with your Inner Child.

Buy yourself a favorite game that you haven't played with for decades. Buy yourself toys. Buy yourself a musical instrument you always want to learn how to play; then take lessons. Buy yourself art supplies and start creating art. Start writing stories, articles, essays, or reviews if you enjoyed writing during your childhood, but people discouraged you from pursuing that as a hobby or a career.

It made me feel very self-conscious when I started trying to reconnect with my Inner Child.

When I'm trying to reconnect with my Inner Child, I imagine it as an Invisible Imaginary Friend standing next to me. My Inner Child is much smaller (because you're supposed to imagine yourself as a child.)

Because you are MISSING the You That You Used To Be.

Adversities and challenges come along and FORCE you to deal with all kinds of circumstances that you never thought would happen TO YOU.

As we age, life circumstances DERAIL our dreams and our goals. Adversities and challenges can mount up to the point where the trajectory of our life (and what we always believed would be our destiny) becomes obliterated.

Start thinking about those memories again— especially when you're looking at pictures of yourself from your childhood (and photos of you as you age.)

YOUR ABUSERS put those LIES in your mind and programmed you (just like you're a computer) when you were young, vulnerable, and impressionable.

One of the things I've been interested in since I was a very young child is mythology. So, I chose a name from mythology to give to my Inner Child. And it's perfect!

Sometimes it's very COMFORTING to see images on old DVDs that remind you of your childhood. For me, that's watching any television show, especially cop show dramas, that we're filmed in Los Angeles, California—a place I have always dreamed of living in.

That's why books, writing, and words, have ALWAYS been my best friends. Learning is a daily OBSESSION of mine.

If there was something that you enjoyed doing when you were a kid (that you STOPPED doing: like drawing/painting pictures, writing stories, or writing songs— then definitely reconnect with that part of yourself and EVOKE those wonderful memories you had from childhood and bring them into your CURRENT LIFE too.

Children Just Want to Have Fun!

Because you were cheated out of having an actual childhood that you could ENJOY by abusive or narcissistic parents and their co-conspirators.

Because the PAIN you are trying to ignore from those kinds of emotional and psychological WOUNDS are still haunting/tormenting you.

Whatever it is that is an ENDURING INTEREST to you (or an interest that you let go fallow as you focused on the seriousness of being an adult)—is something that you should be bringing into your life again.

As long as you continue TRYING to create the type of life that will MAKE YOU HAPPY—then you know you're doing your BEST to nurture and protect yourself.

I didn't care if those clothes were considered Retro, outdated or obsolete when I was finally able to buy them. Because it made me HAPPY to wear them.

If something— or someone FORCES a child to be serious, it makes a child SAD or SCARED.

It's more fun to buy the ice cream and bring it home so that you can talk to your Inner Child while you're making the ice cream cones and eating them.

YOU are the ONLY person who's going to realize that you're having this long, involved inner dialogue with your Inner Child.

I HATE the clothes I have to wear to work— because they're always dull colors and they are very stodgy, conservative clothing. But every job has a dress code and you have to abide by it.

Children are much better than adults at INSTINCTIVELY doing what makes them feel happy or content.

Just because we're adults now, does NOT mean that we've got life figured out yet. Being an adult doesn't mean we're happier OR content.

Children can be ALL those things because they LEARN how to act cruel. Adults in the a child's life TEACH them that it's okay to say and do mean and cruel things to others. If that child lacks empathy and compassion for others, then they will also enjoy being mean and cruel to others. Because they won't feel as if they did anything wrong one day upset someone else and hurt your feelings by insulting them.

We caved in to the demands of so many people who just ended up using us, abusing us, exploiting us, and manipulating us.

If you look at your interactions (and your own beliefs) with unflinching honesty— then you're going to realize that you've been BULLIED and BRAINWASHED by LOTS of very judgmental, harsh, cruel, ignorant, incentive people who had zero RESPECT for your goals, dreams, or your individuality.

Unfortunately, the first thing that people learn when they become an adult is how IGNORANT you were about hiw much DRUDGERY life really involves. The drudgery of life is unavoidable unless you are fabulously wealthy and you can afford to go anywhere you want to and just have fun most of the time .

Other articles that I found helpful are How To Silence Your Harsh Inner Critic.

If you're surrounded by a bunch of harmful, toxic people—you are going to get MANGLED: psychologically, emotionally, spiritually, and often physically.

Because we are told by: society, religion, philosophies, cultures, psychology, family members, and other people we know— that we HAVE to do so many different types of things in order to be considered ACCEPTED by others—or to be considered an adult.

Sometimes adults don't realize HOW miserable they are until the MISERY builds up to the point where they are in DESPAIR and they can no longer IGNORE how AWFUL they feel: psychologically, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

At first, when I started reading about Inner Child Work I thought it was the goofiest thing I ever encountered.

TRYING is what helps you SURVIVE and THRIVE.

I ADORE going to amusement parks. If I could go to an amusement park once a week, I would be THRILLED . But I'm lucky if I could afford to go to an amusement park once a year given my financial issues. Now, I've got to the point where I'm too old and too crippled by chronic health problems to even get onto an amusement park ride at a County Fair.

Give that Inner Critic a name too. That way you can ARGUE with it better. Tell it to “shut up” when it starts making you feel wrong or inadequate.

That's WHY you have to ACKNOWLEDGE and CONFRONT where you got these MISTAKEN BELIEFS ABOUT YOURSELF that tell you that you're wrong, bad, worthless, or irrelevant.

Cruel people will DO ANYTHING to CRUSH YOUR SPIRIT and make you FEEL AWFUL.

Children have great imaginations!

I was forced to assume a lot of adult responsibilities when I was a child— because both of my parents were impaired by multiple substance abuse disorders. My parents were also in their 40s when they had me, so they had no sense of fun. They we're tired and worn out and usually too drunk and depressed to do anything. So my childhood was very miserable.

I HAVE to keep myself busy.

It STILL DOES (and I'm an elderly woman now.). People will see me in tie-dyed clothing most of the time.

You need to IDENTIFY the people you have known throughout your life who fall into the category of People Who Do Not Have Compassion and Empathy. Then you're going to know who your ENEMIES are. And you're going to know who is dangerous to you—no matter what their age is

Cruel people NEVER HESITATE to SAY or DO cruel things to others!

When people DO or SAY anything cruel, NEVER doubt they are doing it DELIBERATELY. They are doing it with malice aforethought—because they are jealous, envious, vindictive, spiteful, and cruel.

I was a child and a teenager during the 1960s and 1970s. My parents were very stodgy and they expected my siblings and I to dress in stodgy ways that made us ridiculed by other children at school or in the neighborhood.

Watching movies and television programs from your childhood will help you reconnect with your dreams and parts of yourself that you remember so vividly from a time in your life that was an era BEFORE YOU LOST HOPE.

Because of the adversities of my life, I have always been a very serious person who really has difficulty understanding what it means to have FUN.

You could become a coach of a sports team. You could teach children how to draw, paint or play a musical instrument. You could encourage them to write stories and teach them how to do that.

That is when HOPE gets destroyed.

I'm not an outdoorsy person—because I have too many health problems. The only sport I was ever good at was swimming. But I only lived in an apartment complex once that had a swimming pool. My parents would NEVER give me money to pay for admission to a public pool.

You need to focus on what it is that YOU ENJOY.

You will still be an adult having this wonderful experience by osmosis— which will remind you of the joys of childhood.

That hope may seem like an EMBER that only has the tiniest bit of red-orange flame wiggling around inside of it (while the rest of of your life has been burned to ashes.)

Think of your Inner Child as an Invisible Companion that you are trying to MENTOR, NURTURE, and HELP.

People make the mistake of embracing CONFORMITY at the expense of their own individuality, their own creativity, their own independence, and their own freedom.

The adversities of life FORCE EVERYONE to adjust their expectations— and learn how to cope with their limitations—as best they can with the resources that they have.

As we grow up, cognitive dissonance sets in, and we all become very detached (and sometimes dissociated) from very important elements of our own personality.

Then I realized I was too serious (and had been for too long.) I'd LOST any sense of FUN—even though I have a wonderful imagination.

As soon as I got a job, and I was living on my own, the first thing I started buying for myself was bell bottom jeans and tie dye shirts.

I am a huge fan of the writing of Marcel Proust. He understood WHY we always need to think about and connect with our past. One of his most famous quotes is: “The real Journey of Discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” Prousr said this in La Prisonniere (The Prisoner)— which is part of the fifth volume of his Remembrance of Things Past (which is also known as In Search of Lost Time.)

Whatever you cherished as a child— that adults cruelly took away from you, or ridiculed you for doing— are the things that you NEED to make sure that you GET BACK into your life as soon as possible!

When you decide to become a mentor to somebody, there's a great deal of Truth in that old saying: JOY SHARED IS JOY DOUBLED

EXAMPLE: Our parents never let us wear denim jeans. We were never allowed to wear colorful clothing.

Cruel adults often tell children, “You are too old to play with a certain toy or to enjoy a television program.” Cruel adults will tell you to quit doing whatever it is that made you have HAPPY back then.

GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION to do things that you ENJOYED when you were a child.

Escapism can help you save your sanity.

Figure out ways to affordably give yourself things that you always wanted as a child but we're denied.

The YOU that got CHANGED by the drudgery and the challenges of life.

Being an adult comes with LOTS of responsibilities and obligations that you really DON'T want to deal with.

That's the reason WHY you want to recreate childhood.

When you get to THAT point in life you're in Far More DANGER than you realize!

The divorce rate is VERY HIGH. Yet people still get married again thinking it's going to turn out differently the next time.

I wear what makes me feel good. I don't care what anybody else thinks!

The articles I read on Inner Child Work suggested that you give your Inner Child a name.

I like the idea of somebody holding my hand luje Pooh holds Piglet's hand—because that has never happened.

Read about Inner Child Work and look for suggestions about how you can get in touch with your younger self.

My ideas of FUN are quiet, withdrawn, and scholarly— because I wasn't allowed to make noise when I was a kid.

Most of us are busy struggling just to get through the day without losing our sanity.

Life is what happens when we're making other plans.

Have FUN connecting with your Inner Child!

Do what makes YOU HAPPY!🙂🙃

EXZMPME: Most people have BOUGHT INTO THE LIE that you HAVE to get married and you HAVE createchildren.

We can all remember when we were a child thinking that it would be a lot more fun once but became an adult. Because we'd have a car, we'd have money to buy things that we want, and we wouldn't be FORCED to do boring stuff that we didn't like to do.

Because we did NOT prioritize ourselves enough by focusing on our dreams, our goals, and creating the type of future we really wanted to live in.

It took me about a month and a half to figure out the perfect name for my Inner Child. Because I wanted it to be SYMBOLIC on many different levels (but still FUN.)

As you're hanging out with your Inner Child get IMAGINATIVE with it.

(Because the things that adults deal with are very CONFUSING and OVERWHELMING to a child.)

Especially if you enjoyed it a whole lot when you were a kid and you STOPPED doing it because people told you you COULDN'T do that now that you're becoming an adult.